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Many parents say things like, 
"I don't want to be like this either"

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They wonder why they keep 
getting angry out of nowhere and 
can’t fully accept their kids as they are

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Some even say, "I'm a strange parent, 
or maybe even a bad one"

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Middle schoolers, on the other hand,
 often say things like,

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"No one understands me at all"

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"Sometimes I feel like I must’ve been
picked up off the street somewhere"

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They express this feeling of having 
no one who understands them

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Today, let’s take a look at 
the very different sides

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we have within our families

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We’ll explore how unique and 
individual each of us is

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and consider how we should view 
these differences and address conflicts

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Let’s dive into these aspects

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(Professor Chae Kyung-sun’s 
"What is Family?")

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Hello

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I'm Chae Kyung-sun 
from the Department of Family Counseling 
at Seong San Hyo Graduate University

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Some time ago, I visited the
Mongdol Beach in Geoje Island

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There, because of all the stones, 
you could hear the beautiful sound 
of rocks clashing together

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which is why the beach is called 
'Mongdol Beach'

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While there, I was fascinated to discover that

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none of the rocks looked exactly the same

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I thought it was truly remarkable

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Likewise, within our families, we find 
such different aspects of each person

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Sometimes, we’re astonished by these 
differences because they’re so extreme

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Too different," you might say

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Let’s take a closer look at some of these 
differences through a couple of aspects

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First of all, we’re born with different qualities

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Think about dishes: there are stone pots

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and there are delicate glass cups

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The shape of a dish, whether it’s 
a stone pot or a thin glass cup

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reveals the different qualities it has

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One of the first differences we see 
is in sensitivity, right?

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A stone pot can easily hold hot liquids

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But a thin glass cup will shatter 
even if the water is just a bit too hot

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even if the water is just a bit too hot

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we can see that durability varies greatly too

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we can see that the level 
of durability varies greatly too

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Some people are highly sensitive to sounds

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When you try to put kids to bed, 
some will wake up at the tiniest noise

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Meanwhile, other kids can sleep deeply, 
undisturbed even by a loud crash

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Visual sensitivity varies too

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Some children can see things from afar

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observing everything with 
remarkable detail

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Other children might have 
a narrower, more limited field of visio

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| Smell sensitivity also varies

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My oldest child, for instance, 
the moment he gets into the elevator and

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smells something cooking, will immediately
know if we cooked fish at home

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and refuse to come inside

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Like this, our sensory responses 
to stimuli differ greatly 
in terms of sensitivity

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When it comes to children 
who are a bit more detailed and sensitive

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they may be labeled as being

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"difficult," "overly sensitive,"

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or as "thinking only of themselves"

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Another difference lies in

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the sense of time and speed

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Some people are like cars 
speeding towards a goal at 60 km/h

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while others, by nature, are built with low gears,

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moving at a much slower pace

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Teachers often talk about 
this speed difference too

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When kids first start school, 
some adapt to the new environment

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very quickly and easily

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while others need more time to settle in

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Understanding these differences 
in speed and timing within a person

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can be a crucial basis
 for knowing how to wait patiently

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A third difference is perspective

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Here, you can see a picture on the screen

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where a child is doing a handstand

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The view of this child doing a handstand 
varies depending on who’s watching

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The father looks at the child 
doing the handstand and says

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"Wow, my son’s got some athletic skill"

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"He’s got a good sense of balance, 
Should he try becoming a soccer player?"

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Meanwhile, the mother, 
looking at the same child, worries

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"Oh no, what if he hurts 
his neck doing that?"

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"Why does he have to be 
so restless?" she says

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But the child himself thinks

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"Whoa, it’s so cool to see 
the world upside down like this!"

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These differences in perspective

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shape how each person 
understands the world

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The fourth factor is the cultural background

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Here’s another image on the screen

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What comes to mind 
when you look at these pictures?

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Thee pictures are actually 
ads for **Coca Cola

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Seen from left to right, it shows 
a person, exhausted in the desert

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drinking **Coca Cola and becoming energized

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The ad was designed to convey 
that drinking **Coca Cola

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revitalizes people

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However, the ad completely failed 
in the Middle East

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Do you know why?

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In the Middle East, 
people read from right to left

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So, from right to left, 
the ad shows a healthy person

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who drinks **Coca Coladoes what?

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Instead of revitalization, it conveyed
 the opposite—that drinking **Coca Cola

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drains energy and causes problems

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That’s why this **Coca Cola ad 
didn’t succeed in the Middle East

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Across all aspects of life,

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we find such vast differences 
within ourselves

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Even the language of love varies

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For some, it’s about acts of service

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For others, it’s spending 
quality time together

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Some value hugs and physical touch

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while others cherish words of affirmation

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or giving gifts as their way 
of expressing love

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or giving gifts as 
their way of expressing love

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it may be difficult for 
the other person to understand it.

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So, how should families handle 
these differences among each other?

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When we fail to acknowledge differences

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conflicts, arguments, and 
challenges arise within us

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Not recognizing or accepting 
each other's unique traits

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and embracing who 
we are isn’t always easy

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However, if we don’t acknowledge
 these differences in our family,

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we end up criticizing one another, 
and through these differences

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we can reflect our unique personalities 
and the dignity God has given us

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leading to comparisons and 
a breakdown in relationships

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My child is left-handed

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From birth, I noticed a 
natural preference in direction

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Even when holding a milk bottle, 
the left hand would always come first

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But when my grandfather was around

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he was very worried about this

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"Why does he reach with his left hand?”

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“The left hand is the ‘dumb’ hand
What if he becomes dumb?”

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I remember how he’d express 
his concerns every time

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One day, my child came to me and asked,

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“Mom, does being left-handed 
mean I’m dumb?”

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“No,” I replied, “some people use 
their left hand, others use their right"

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“That’s why God gave us two hands"

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“But from Grandpa’s perspective, 
he probably wanted you to react"

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"with your right hand first"

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That’s what I told her

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Learning to recognize differences

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teaches us ‘empathy'

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In fact, the beginning of empathy 
lies in recognizing differences

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Do you see the picture here?

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This picture you see here illustrates

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why our differences are the reason 
we stand together

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In this photo

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there’s an elderly man with 
impaired vision

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and an elderly woman with 
hearing difficulties

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Together, they walk as one, 
supporting each other

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It is a truly beautiful image

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I’m by your side because we are different

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The reason I’m here, 
and the reason you’re here

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is that we complement each other 
through our differences

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Recently, I watched a beautiful movie

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called CODA that I would like 
to share with you

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The movie CODA is about a family 
with a deaf father, mother, and brother

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with Ruby, a high school student, 
being the only hearing member

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being the only hearing member
The movie focuses of the story of the 4

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This family revolves around Ruby

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they rely on her completely

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Though she lives in a world 
disconnected from them

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her one unique way of relieving stress

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and expressing herself to the world 
was through singing

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Ruby joins the school choir

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Her choir teacher suggests 
she apply to Berklee College of Music

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Ruby begins to struggle with the decision

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She thinks, "Without me, my family won’t
be able to manage, how could I leave them?"

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The movie portrays her journey 
as she decides to leave for Berklee

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There’s a deeply moving scene here

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Ruby goes to her mother and ask

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"Mom, when I was born, 
did you want me to be able to hear"

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"or did you hope I wouldn’t?"

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Her mother responds, 
"Honestly, I hoped you wouldn’t hear"

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"I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to"

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"share experiences if 
you could hear sounds"

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"But now, seeing you hear, 
I am so grateful."

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"Whether we hear the same sounds or not,"

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"we can still connect as a family"

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"Because we’re family," she says

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Ruby finds courage in her mother’s words

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She goes to audition for Berklee

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but as she sings her first song, 
she lacks confidence

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At that moment, she looks 
far into the audience and sees 
her mom, dad, and brother cheering her on

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Encouraged, she starts performing 
the song in sign language

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The judges are moved, not just by her voice 
but by the depth of her expression

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Through her heartfelt performance

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she touches the hearts of the judges

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As she embarks on this journey 
without her family

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her family applauds her, 
sending her off with pride

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It’s a truly emotional scene

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We are all different

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But because we’re family, 
we can stand together