On a hot summer day, when I was driving
my mother somewhere I remember it was hot
So I said to my mom
"How can we live with
the sun being this hot" My mother said
while looking out at the field
"In summer, it has to be hot
for the rice to ripen" Then I realized
She is right, they are ripening
I realized we can harvest them in the fall
As we welcome spring, summer, fall, and winter
we also face seasons in our lives as well
Today, we will discuss the seasons of our life
the seasons of family
(Professor Chae ‘What is Family?’)
It’s a pleasure to see you
I am Chae Kyung-Sun, a professor
In psychology, we tend to call
the seasons of our lives as 'development'
Or we can say one's 'growth', right?
From infancy to old age
if you look at a person's life like this
you can see that we call 'development'
There are important developmental tasks
that are important to accomplish
What must be done during infancy?
Eating, sleeping, pooping, walking, talking
There are tasks that must be done
Reaching toddlerhood, hey must go to school
they make friends, creating extensions
In young adulthood, they adjust to the society
This is the developmental process
There are important principles behind this
What does a child do after walk?
They learn how to run
But if we say that one learns how to run
and then crawl, it doesn't make sense
We learn how to walk first, and then run
When we learn how to speak, we first
learn words and then learn about sentences
We develop our large muscles and develop
small muscles to help pick up small objects
there is a certain order to development
Another important principle
is something called critical period
'each development has its tasks'
If a child can't speak, it's a big problem
They should learn how to walk and speak
Adolecence, they have tasks of adjusting to school
If development is not met
we say they are 'developmentally stagnant'
or 'developmentally disabled'
Like this, as development occurs
within a person's life we can see
'the seasons of development' If we look
at the relationships of how a family is created
a man and woman meet and form a family
As time passes, a child is born
And as the infant grows, a family with a toddler
And then a family with an adolescent child
We call this the
'developmental seasons of family'
In the beginning, there will be a process of
negotiation, compromise, agreement
regarding their lifestyle and communication
That is when the baby is born
Then this child will become the king
Time passes centered around this child
We can see the finances being allocated
Then, it changes when the child reaches adolescence
Families with the infant can stay together
But the moment they reach adolescence
the child wishes to separate
So the family is inevitable to change
This is a story I heard about recently
Despite the child being 6 years old
he was still breastfeeding The weaning period
is when the child stops breastfeeding
Despite that the child must be separated
this child was inseparable from her
Not only they sleep together in the room
even though he should have been potty-trained
mother was carrying diapers and changing
We can see children who's not infancy
but in adolescence or young adulthood
having their mother trying to control
the child's time and energy
If this occurs regarding the development
there will be a delay in development
and show developmental disability
I remember when I had my second child
I went to my mother's house often
But not even two days had passed,
mother told me "Go back to your home"
When I think about why she said this,
my mother did not even like my marriage
She wanted me to live my life and have fun
She said, "Use your ability and live your life"
Watching her daughter raise her children
having to live as only 'a mother'
is what made my mother feel depressed
that is why she didn't want to see me
When she told me to go home
I can never forget her expressions
However, I learned that things pass with time
So I told my mom 'I think it is a time
for me to live as a mother when my kid grow,
I will have time that I can live for myself'
'Please wait until then' I remember this
Looking at mothers who are struggling
working as a mother 24 hours a day
They devlote themselves, making depressed
However, as the rice endure summer days
there is a time when we devote our time
However, this period does not last forever
Just like seasons change
there are times when we devote ourselves
there will be a period season changes
There are Empty Nest Syndrome
They think, 'They would stay with me forever'
But watching the child discover their life
the parents look at the empty room
and sometimes shed a tear There is a saying
who are close to death regret the most
and a time that they regret the most
'I should have been better when I could'
They regret not giving more love when they had chance
What season is your family currently in?
It could be a season of anticipation
where a newborn asking you to care for them
a time where they are crying for you
It could be a season of struggle
Watching adolescent slamming the door
the mother experiencing loneliness
may have to spend time enduring
Some people say these days if a child going puberty
and a mother going through her menopausal period meet
the mother will win We used to say that
a puberty was strong but now we know that
the power used to protect our country
comes from parents so we are undergoing
intense struggle within our family
Despite this, through these seasons
through our family relationships
God is showing us the meaning of seasons
'the time of God' and 'what we should do at this time'
Just like we plant seeds in the spring,
water the plant and watch it grow in summer,
harvest in the fall, rest the soil for it
to be ready again in the spring,
we can say that rightful time for everything
watching the seasons pass by
I hope that we don't miss the glory of family
and to overcome in family relationships