1
00:00:05.773 --> 00:00:11.287
On a hot summer day, when I was driving

2
00:00:11.287 --> 00:00:13.604
my mother somewhere
I remember it was hot

3
00:00:13.604 --> 00:00:15.912
So I said to my mom

4
00:00:15.912 --> 00:00:19.489
"How can we live with

5
00:00:19.489 --> 00:00:22.108
the sun being this hot"
My mother said

6
00:00:22.108 --> 00:00:24.463
while looking out at the field

7
00:00:24.463 --> 00:00:30.041
"In summer, it has to be hot

8
00:00:30.041 --> 00:00:31.355
for the rice to ripen"
Then I realized

9
00:00:31.355 --> 00:00:34.110
She is right, they are ripening

10
00:00:34.110 --> 00:00:42.650
I realized we can harvest them in the fall

11
00:00:42.650 --> 00:00:46.945
As we welcome 
spring, summer, fall, and winter

12
00:00:46.945 --> 00:00:52.203
we also face seasons in our lives as well

13
00:00:52.203 --> 00:00:55.012
Today, we will discuss 
the seasons of our life

14
00:00:55.012 --> 00:00:59.723
the seasons of family

15
00:01:01.703 --> 00:01:04.757
(Professor Chae
‘What is Family?’)

16
00:01:04.757 --> 00:01:06.212
It’s a pleasure to see you

17
00:01:06.212 --> 00:01:11.792
I am Chae Kyung-Sun, a professor

18
00:01:11.792 --> 00:01:15.757
In psychology, we tend to call

19
00:01:15.757 --> 00:01:18.701
the seasons of our lives as 'development'

20
00:01:18.701 --> 00:01:22.065
Or we can say one's 'growth', right?

21
00:01:22.065 --> 00:01:27.854
From infancy to old age

22
00:01:27.854 --> 00:01:30.515
if you look at a person's life like this

23
00:01:30.515 --> 00:01:33.907
you can see that
we call 'development'

24
00:01:33.907 --> 00:01:37.822
There are important developmental tasks

25
00:01:37.822 --> 00:01:40.767
that are important to accomplish

26
00:01:40.767 --> 00:01:42.299
What must be done during infancy?

27
00:01:42.299 --> 00:01:46.967
Eating, sleeping, pooping,
walking, talking

28
00:01:46.967 --> 00:01:51.150
There are tasks that 
must be done

29
00:01:51.150 --> 00:01:56.332
Reaching toddlerhood, 
hey must go to school

30
00:01:56.332 --> 00:02:01.907
they make friends,
creating extensions

31
00:02:01.907 --> 00:02:08.319
In young adulthood, they 
adjust to the society

32
00:02:08.319 --> 00:02:14.098
This is the developmental process

33
00:02:14.098 --> 00:02:18.545
There are important principles
behind this

34
00:02:18.545 --> 00:02:21.310
What does a child do after walk?

35
00:02:21.310 --> 00:02:22.803
They learn how to run

36
00:02:22.804 --> 00:02:25.300
But if we say that one learns how to run

37
00:02:25.300 --> 00:02:28.910
and then crawl, it doesn't make sense

38
00:02:28.910 --> 00:02:33.289
We learn how to walk first, and then run

39
00:02:33.289 --> 00:02:36.375
When we learn how to speak, we first

40
00:02:36.375 --> 00:02:38.661
learn words and then learn about sentences

41
00:02:38.662 --> 00:02:42.527
We develop our large
muscles and develop

42
00:02:42.527 --> 00:02:47.469
small muscles to help
pick up small objects

43
00:02:47.469 --> 00:02:52.118
there is a certain order to development

44
00:02:52.118 --> 00:02:55.580
Another important principle

45
00:02:55.580 --> 00:02:59.519
is something called critical period

46
00:02:59.519 --> 00:03:04.446
'each development has its tasks'

47
00:03:04.447 --> 00:03:11.282
If a child can't speak,
it's a big problem

48
00:03:11.282 --> 00:03:16.101
They should learn
how to walk and speak

49
00:03:16.102 --> 00:03:26.856
Adolecence, they have tasks
of adjusting to school

50
00:03:26.856 --> 00:03:30.175
If development is not met

51
00:03:30.175 --> 00:03:32.695
we say they are 'developmentally stagnant'

52
00:03:32.695 --> 00:03:37.210
or 'developmentally disabled'

53
00:03:37.211 --> 00:03:40.787
Like this, as development occurs

54
00:03:40.787 --> 00:03:43.580
within a person's life we can see

55
00:03:43.581 --> 00:03:51.825
'the seasons of development'
If we look

56
00:03:51.825 --> 00:03:55.393
at the relationships
of how a family is created

57
00:03:55.393 --> 00:04:00.631
a man and woman
meet and form a family

58
00:04:00.631 --> 00:04:04.090
As time passes, a child is born

59
00:04:04.090 --> 00:04:09.737
And as the infant grows,
a family with a toddler

60
00:04:09.737 --> 00:04:14.753
And then a family with an adolescent child

61
00:04:14.754 --> 00:04:21.505
We call this the

62
00:04:21.505 --> 00:04:26.481
'developmental seasons of family'

63
00:04:32.034 --> 00:04:34.786
In the beginning,
there will be a process of

64
00:04:34.786 --> 00:04:44.655
negotiation, compromise, agreement

65
00:04:44.656 --> 00:04:47.485
regarding their lifestyle and
communication

66
00:04:47.485 --> 00:04:49.356
That is when the baby is born

67
00:04:49.357 --> 00:04:55.523
Then this child will become the king

68
00:04:55.523 --> 00:04:57.770
Time passes centered around this child

69
00:04:57.770 --> 00:05:05.339
We can see the finances 
being allocated

70
00:05:05.339 --> 00:05:10.611
Then, it changes when the child 
reaches adolescence

71
00:05:10.612 --> 00:05:15.785
Families with the infant can
stay together

72
00:05:15.786 --> 00:05:19.381
But the moment they reach adolescence

73
00:05:19.381 --> 00:05:23.983
the child wishes to separate

74
00:05:23.983 --> 00:05:28.026
So the family is 
inevitable to change

75
00:05:28.026 --> 00:05:30.652
This is a story I heard about recently

76
00:05:30.652 --> 00:05:33.963
Despite the child being 6 years old

77
00:05:33.963 --> 00:05:37.457
he was still breastfeeding
The weaning period

78
00:05:37.457 --> 00:05:42.171
is when the child
stops breastfeeding

79
00:05:42.171 --> 00:05:46.262
Despite that the child 
must be separated

80
00:05:46.262 --> 00:05:48.460
this child was inseparable from her

81
00:05:48.460 --> 00:05:51.454
Not only they sleep 
together in the room

82
00:05:51.454 --> 00:05:54.146
even though he should
have been potty-trained

83
00:05:54.146 --> 00:05:59.145
mother was carrying
diapers and changing

84
00:05:59.145 --> 00:06:01.693
We can see children 
who's not infancy

85
00:06:01.693 --> 00:06:05.719
but in adolescence or young adulthood

86
00:06:05.720 --> 00:06:07.118
having their mother
trying to control

87
00:06:07.118 --> 00:06:18.026
the child's time and energy

88
00:06:18.026 --> 00:06:19.924
If this occurs regarding the development

89
00:06:19.924 --> 00:06:23.971
there will be a delay in development

90
00:06:23.971 --> 00:06:29.870
and show developmental disability

91
00:06:29.870 --> 00:06:35.082
I remember when I had my second child

92
00:06:35.082 --> 00:06:38.687
I went to my mother's
house often

93
00:06:38.687 --> 00:06:46.931
But not even two days had passed,

94
00:06:46.931 --> 00:06:52.002
mother told me
"Go back to your home"

95
00:06:52.002 --> 00:06:56.123
When I think about why she said this,

96
00:06:56.123 --> 00:07:00.391
my mother did not even 
like my marriage

97
00:07:00.391 --> 00:07:08.738
She wanted me to live
my life and have fun

98
00:07:08.738 --> 00:07:13.425
She said, "Use your ability
and live your life"

99
00:07:13.425 --> 00:07:18.228
Watching her daughter
raise her children

100
00:07:18.228 --> 00:07:22.514
having to live as only 'a mother'

101
00:07:22.514 --> 00:07:25.493
is what made my mother
feel depressed

102
00:07:25.493 --> 00:07:28.403
that is why she didn't want
to see me

103
00:07:28.403 --> 00:07:30.607
When she told me to go home

104
00:07:30.607 --> 00:07:33.620
I can never forget her expressions

105
00:07:33.620 --> 00:07:37.629
However, I learned that things
pass with time

106
00:07:37.629 --> 00:07:39.507
So I told my mom
'I think it is a time

107
00:07:39.507 --> 00:07:43.858
for me to live as a mother
when my kid grow,

108
00:07:43.858 --> 00:07:48.722
I will have time that I can live
for myself'

109
00:07:48.722 --> 00:07:55.244
'Please wait until then'
I remember this

110
00:07:55.244 --> 00:07:58.123
Looking at mothers 
who are struggling

111
00:07:58.124 --> 00:08:01.309
working as a mother 24 hours a day

112
00:08:01.309 --> 00:08:07.459
They devlote themselves, 
making depressed

113
00:08:07.459 --> 00:08:11.124
However, as the rice endure
summer days

114
00:08:11.124 --> 00:08:15.899
there is a time when we 
devote our time

115
00:08:15.899 --> 00:08:19.419
However, this period does not last forever

116
00:08:19.419 --> 00:08:21.301
Just like seasons change

117
00:08:21.301 --> 00:08:25.528
there are times when we 
devote ourselves

118
00:08:25.529 --> 00:08:36.329
there will be a period
season changes

119
00:08:36.329 --> 00:08:42.207
There are Empty Nest Syndrome

120
00:08:42.207 --> 00:08:46.057
They think, 'They would stay
with me forever'

121
00:08:46.057 --> 00:08:51.913
But watching the child
discover their life

122
00:08:51.914 --> 00:08:55.179
the parents look at the
empty room

123
00:08:55.179 --> 00:08:59.506
and sometimes shed a tear
There is a saying

124
00:08:59.506 --> 00:09:04.840
who are close to death
regret the most

125
00:09:04.840 --> 00:09:06.593
and a time that they 
regret the most

126
00:09:06.593 --> 00:09:10.905
'I should have been better
when I could'

127
00:09:10.905 --> 00:09:17.723
They regret not giving more love
when they had chance

128
00:09:22.327 --> 00:09:27.333
What season is your family currently in?

129
00:09:27.333 --> 00:09:29.812
It could be a season of anticipation

130
00:09:29.813 --> 00:09:34.467
where a newborn asking you
to care for them

131
00:09:34.467 --> 00:09:37.901
a time where they are crying for you

132
00:09:37.901 --> 00:09:41.443
It could be a season of struggle

133
00:09:41.444 --> 00:09:46.085
Watching adolescent 
slamming the door

134
00:09:46.085 --> 00:09:49.639
the mother experiencing loneliness

135
00:09:49.639 --> 00:09:54.104
may have to spend time enduring

136
00:09:54.104 --> 00:09:56.021
Some people say these days
if a child going puberty

137
00:09:56.021 --> 00:10:00.134
and a mother going through her
menopausal period meet

138
00:10:00.134 --> 00:10:02.879
the mother will win
We used to say that

139
00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:06.160
a puberty was strong
but now we know that

140
00:10:06.160 --> 00:10:11.613
the power used
to protect our country

141
00:10:11.614 --> 00:10:14.658
comes from parents
so we are undergoing

142
00:10:14.659 --> 00:10:23.004
intense struggle 
within our family

143
00:10:23.005 --> 00:10:26.351
Despite this, through these seasons

144
00:10:26.351 --> 00:10:30.823
through our family relationships

145
00:10:30.823 --> 00:10:37.703
God is showing us 
the meaning of seasons

146
00:10:37.703 --> 00:10:41.231
'the time of God' and 'what we should do
at this time'

147
00:10:41.231 --> 00:10:43.014
Just like we plant seeds in the spring,

148
00:10:43.014 --> 00:10:49.660
water the plant and watch it grow
in summer,

149
00:10:49.660 --> 00:10:51.423
harvest in the fall,
rest the soil for it

150
00:10:51.424 --> 00:10:57.759
to be ready again
in the spring,

151
00:10:57.760 --> 00:11:03.921
we can say that
rightful time for everything

152
00:11:03.921 --> 00:11:08.284
watching the seasons pass by

153
00:11:08.284 --> 00:11:13.302
I hope that we don't
miss the glory of family

154
00:11:13.308 --> 00:11:21.468
and to overcome
in family relationships